WILMINGTON, DE – Brandywine Valley County police were stuck in the
middle of a less than appetizing investigation. Investigators were trying to
find the person who has dumped bags of what appears to be human vomit in
ditches in a 1 1/2-mile area northeast of the City of Wilmington.
Police Officer Dan Wesley said, “As many as 50 garbage and trash bags
containing regurgitated food have been dumped over the past three years… Bags,
ranging in size from small white trash bags to large black lawn bags, which
were overflowing with the substance in them,” Wesley said.
"It's pretty weird," he said. "It's pretty unusual even
for us… we are used to corpses and other forensic stuff, but we haven't worked
anything like this before."
A sample was taken from one of the bags and sent to a private lab for
analysis.
"We have checked the DNA reports," he said, “and there is only
one suspect in the case.”
"We were just hoping... Senator Lindsey Graham, SC has allegedly
been doing this, and it would stop," Wesley said. An FBI investigation
that is required for this large, strange case.”
In a teleconference call, Graham was defiant and on the defensive, “I
realize littering even on a highway is a nuisance, but the peasants have to
eat! As Senator of South Carolina, I intend to continue my generosity.
My bosses, the Koch Brothers are wholly behind this idea and think it’s a
good initiative and food for the rest of the mud people, like Obama. But don’t
quote me.”
No comments:
Post a Comment