WHICH IS WORSE: SHARRON ANGLE - CRAZY OR JONI ERNST - STUPID (A GOP FORTE)

 

(PAID IN FULL)

ISSA'S FOLLIES

San Diego, CA - A 30-year-old book that appears to be bound in human skin has been found on the home of Congressman Darrell Issa… It is not generally known that the congressman has a “rap sheet” from some questionable insurance fraud allegations and other indictments concerning a violent past - it is not known if the burglaries were related to the congressman’s past criminal activities. Detectives were trying to trace its rightful owners and believe it may have been taken from the Issa dwelling.

Much of the text is in branding iron, and it was not uncommon around the time of the California’s heyday’s of the ‘forties and ‘fifties for books to be covered in human skin.

The practice, known as anthropodermic bibliopegy, was sometimes used in the 18th and 19th centuries when accounts of murder trials were bound in the killer's skin.

Anatomy books also were sometimes bound in the skin of a dissected cadaver. In World War II, Nazis were accused of using the skin from Holocaust victims to bind books.

In a brief statement, county sheriff’s office said the ledger, which contained branding iron marks, appears up to date, and based upon Issa’s Greek and Sicilian ancestries.

According to reports from the county sheriff’s office explained separately; “The books is made up from his mother’s skin, according to the Issa family tradition.”  

Most people don’t know this about the Issa’s family but they can grow skin at will. A sterile scalpel is used, the mother disrobes; (it takes a two feet by one and half foot rectangle), and tan the skin. It doesn’t bother the mothers; their skin grows back with a matter of minutes… Issa has a library from the family’s skins.

County Sheriff’s office put two photographs of the book on their Web site, but officers were unwilling on Saturday to answer any questions about it, including the book's subject matter.

GOHMERT WEDS DOG IN SECRET CEREMONY

Washington, DC – Louie Gohmert, 61-year-old U.S. Congressman from Texas, wed a stray dog as part of a Republican ritual to ward off the "evil eye" of the Jews and blacks, declaring himself “embarrassed” for being a Jew or a black himself and Republican at the same time, said to his family in Texas, The Dallas Morning News reported Wednesday. Mr. Gohmert’s upper teeth appeared before his lower teeth when he was born - considered a bad omen by members of the Texas State Election Commission, to which Gohmert was so closely tied. 

Members of the Washington Press Corps said in a report from Congressional House Speaker, John Boehner (a closet homosexual), and, a lover of Karl Rove and Gohmert, said Gohmert married and conjugated the dog only to "remove the evil eye," a superstitious Republican belief that some misfortune could befall him and the family, and that he would not be free to marry a man later. 

Friends and family participated in three days of the secret traditional ceremonies and festivities that include bestiality and child slavery both being a part of the Republican tribal marriages in general, said, according to the reports from the Cato Institute, the Heritage Foundation, the Rutherford Institute and "C Street".

LINDSEY GRAHAM DELAWARE ARRESTED FOR DELAWARE SERIAL VOMIT DUMPING - "SELF-PORTRAITS" - SEE BELOW MANY FACES OF LINDSEY GRAHAM: (AKA SCREAMING MIMI)

WILMINGTON, DE – Brandywine Valley County police were stuck in the middle of a less than appetizing investigation. Investigators were trying to find the person who has dumped bags of what appears to be human vomit in ditches in a 1 1/2-mile area northeast of the City of Wilmington.

Police Officer Dan Wesley said, “As many as 50 garbage and trash bags containing regurgitated food have been dumped over the past three years… Bags, ranging in size from small white trash bags to large black lawn bags, which were overflowing with the substance in them,” Wesley said.

"It's pretty weird," he said. "It's pretty unusual even for us… we are used to corpses and other forensic stuff, but we haven't worked anything like this before."

A sample was taken from one of the bags and sent to a private lab for analysis.

"We have checked the DNA reports," he said, “and there is only one suspect in the case.”

"We were just hoping... Senator Lindsey Graham, SC has allegedly been doing this, and it would stop," Wesley said. An FBI investigation that is required for this large, strange case.” 

In a teleconference call, Graham was defiant and on the defensive, “I realize littering even on a highway is a nuisance, but the peasants have to eat! As Senator of South Carolina, I intend to continue my generosity. My bosses, the Koch Brothers are wholly behind this idea and think it’s a good initiative and food for the rest of the mud people, like Obama. But don’t quote me.”